A little story of hope and resilience
Siya was not going to let it happen again. She had already let is happen on five earlier occasions and not again! She would not subject herself to another night or regretting, another week of ‘wish I could have done it another way’ and another lifetime of ‘what if’. She was not going to let it happen all over again! She braced herself, breathed hard and sat in the taxi with her guitar. There was a lot of traffic. New York was at its vibrant best.
People bustled around, looking happy and excited. Fashionistas walked around in their best attire, matching clothes with shoes, brilliant in their makeup and the know-how of latest trends from Paris to Milan. Kids jumped around in their summer best, with ice creams and candies, looking into shops and at people passing around with curiosity. Office crowds scuttled around, on lunch breaks, coffee breaks, giving interviews, gossiping, anxious or confident as the case may be.
Siya looked at everybody and they all looked more confident than how she was feeling from inside. She again reminded herself that looks can be deceptive. May be they were as nervous as she was, may be they also needed somebody to hold their hand, may be they also wished they were under a blanket right now. She checked her watch. There was another hour to go for the audition. She counted slowly from one to twenty.
When Riya had passed five years ago from the Trinity school of music, everybody had stared with their eyes open wide. She was the star of her class, the underdog, the prodigy. When she played the guitar, everybody stopped and just listened. When she composed a song, people begged for her to play it to them. And mostly she would.
She didn’t know what had happened in the ensuing five years. She had given up offers to teach because she wanted to pursue her music for herself, she wanted to be a true artist. She had refused small gigs because she wanted to make it big, she didn’t want to spend her life singing in little bistros and cafes. She had said no to bands that wanted to make her a part of their troupe, because she did not believe in their vision or thought they were not good enough or just thought she should wait for something better.
Now it had been five years.
Five years of doing pretty much nothing. All money had run out. She was living on loans from her parents for over a year because New York was an expensive place. Her confidence had shaken so much already that it surprised her. She did not want to get in touch with her college contacts because they would think of her as a loser. People would think that passing out from such a big college would automatically make anybody a star but they did not know that the world welcomes technologists much more than it welcomed artists.
The last four auditions Siya had been so full of anxiety and nervousness that she had fumbled and missed her beat. She had been politely told that they were looking for something else. Then she had spent sleepless night replaying the music in her mind. She had started thinking that Trinity was a fluke, and she actually had no talent.
Suddenly the car braked. There was an old woman trying to cross the road very slowly. What was she doing! She is not supposed to be here in the middle of the road like this! Siya was shocked. But then she observed the resilience of the old woman. Slowly and steadily she crossed the road, and soon was off on her journey. The cab driver started driving again. Suddenly it came to Siya. She was not this apologetic nervous person. She was brave and resilient. She was the personification of music. She smiled and knew today they would say something very different to her after the audition.
image from pixabay