Doing it, the #BetterWay

Husband showed me this the other day, after dinner:

So there I was, sitting in my bed, drooling over Ashton Kutcher as he flexed his muscles, flashed his naughty smile and said something about the new Yoga Tablet. While I am totally fida over my husband, Ashton does send my pulse racing. So while husband dozed up in a record five minutes, I watched the video twice! But what was this?

Just when I finished watching the video the second time and looked up, there he was. No, not my husband, duh! Remember he is dozing off next to me? It was Ashton Kutcher standing right there!

My tongue choked in my throat and my mouth was so dry that I couldn't utter a single syllable. I’m not sure f he understood that, but he came over and extended his hand. I managed to look confused. So he said, “Come with me, we got to do a lot of work!”

The next thing I know, I’m sitting with Ashton in his private jet and we’re zooming around the world!

Firstly, we flew to Chennai. By the time we reached there, it was 2 AM and both Ashton and I were a bit hungry. So we decided to have a coffee and brownie at the airport coffee shop.

On the next table, we saw a middle aged guy, who perhaps was in between flights and was waiting to board an early morning one. Suited and booted, he was perhaps supposed to attend a meeting the moment he landed in Hong Kong or London, make a presentation and win over some clients. Currently, the poor guy seemed to doing gymnastics with his tablet PC. His tablet lay flat on the table next to a strong shot of espresso. With his back arched to be able to see the screen fully, it looked as if he will soon break into two pieces. He was struggling to be able to see what was written there and yet type something on to a business document.

At one moment, he held the tab with one hand and tried to type with the other so that his back is at ease. But then he wanted a sip of the coffee. So he again arched his back and lay his tab flat. But then it was difficult to read. So he again held up his tab and relaxed his back. But now he couldn’t type. And so it went on for almost twenty minutes.

Meanwhile, Ashton and I had our nice artificial-tasting airport cappuccinos and walnut brownies. And then Ashton calmly got up and asked me to follow him. He went and sat by the side of our hapless executive. I sat a little distance away to observe what happens next.

When the high flying executive saw Ashton, he froze for a minute. For that one minute he looked like Madam Taussad’s new wax statue, only not so pretty like her other ones. Then he exclaimed, “Are you Asht….”

Ashton saved him the trouble. “Yes, my dear friend. I’m Ashton Kutcher. From Hollywood. How do you do?”

“Uh, oh. Wonderful. I’m doing great. And you?”

“I’m doing great but I’m not so convinced that you are.”

“Beg your pardon?” Executive looked like he was struck by lightening.

Ashton pointed to his tablet, then to his back and then to the general angle in which was sitting resembling a monkey on a wire.

“Oh, this. Well, I have an urgent meeting tomorrow. I’m meeting a potential client and there need to be a few last minute changes made to the company presentation.” (So, I had guessed it right.)

“I can see that. But why are you torturing yourself as if you have a boiling water cauldron on your back?”

Our man looked sheepish.

“”Unless you’re planning to turn yourself into a right-angled skeleton, you need to do something about this.”

“Like what?”

“Like this.” Ashton pulled out the new Yoga Tablet 10 from his bag. He placed it in the tilt mode with the help of its battery cylinder and Voila! There we had the perfect angle for touch interaction!

“Try typing now, tiger.” Ashton stood up.

The executive beamed like a Japanese flower coming into full spring. His body slowly relaxed as if it was following its own rhythm of dance. He picked up his coffee and took a deep satisfied sip. Then he smiled a deep smile of gratitude at Ashton.

Ashton smiled back and said, “Good luck for tomorrow! I’m sure you will floor the clients with your new Yoga Tablet from Lenovo.”

We were back in the plane in ten minutes. Next up was an almost two-hour flight to Mumbai.

“You’re very eager to say something. Go on.” Ashton smiled at me.

“You have to tell me about this magical tablet called the Yoga tablet, Ashton!”

“Oh, I thought you wanted to tell me you were a huge fan of my movies!”

We both laughed.

“Well, this is an engineering marvel from Lenovo, which is shifting the gears with amazing speed.  Hence it has come out with not one but two tablet releases: Yoga Tablet 8 and Yoga Tablet 10 for Indian buyers.”

“Ah, I know about that. I just saw your video.”

“Okay, I think what you don’t know is that both the tablets will run on Android 4.2.2 Jelly Bean and have practically the same specs except for the screen size. The Yoga 8 has an 8 inche display while the Yoga 10 will sport a 10 inch one but both will offer a resolution of 1280 x 800 pixels.”

“Wow, that sounds so promising…”

“Madam, would you like me to adjust your seat for sleeping?” The stewardess was an exotic Latino beauty!

“No, that’s fine.” (I as no going to waste my time with “the Ashton Kutcher” in sleeping!) “Ok, please go on.”

Ashton laughed. “Okay, other than that, both the Yoga tablets will be available in 16 GB versions with Wi-Fi and 3G for connectivity options. Both the Yoga's are powered by  quad-core MediaTek processors. The Wi-Fi variants have MediaTek MT8125 processor and 3G variants have MediaTek MT8389 processor. The  Yoga 8 and Yoga 10 run 1GB of RAM and have a 5MP rear camera with auto focus capabilities while the front camera will be a VGA affair. The buyers will have an option to buy a 32GB version which will cost you more. There is also a MicroSD expansion slot in case you require that extra bit of memory.”

I think my face must have looked like an exciting child in Disney land, with my mouth wide open with awe because now he said, “Okay enough gyaan for one session, we’re almost at Mumbai so get ready.

I nodded my head like an eager smitten teenager in front of a professor on whom she has had a crush for ten years. Then I applied some chap stick and kajal stealthily, so that he doesn’t think I have to put make-up to look pretty (I hope my husband doesn’t read any of this!).

We got down and were welcomed by a nice breezy Mumbai. I pulled my scarf closer to myself and admired the night lighting of Mumbai. There was a car waiting for us at the hanger and we got into it. The car dropped us at a point close to the sea. I got down and saw that we were at the iconic Taj hotel and by now I had inkling that this was some kind of guided tour that Ashton was giving me.

By the time we entered the lobby it was pretty much around 5 AM. Some guests were leaving for their morning workouts at the lavish hotel gym or swims in the heated pools. We went straight to the gym. After crossing a few treadmills, we saw a woman in her finest gym wear. Ashton waved me to strand back. We both started observing her from a little distance. She had a tablet that she was looking at very angrily.

Then suddenly, she lifted it in the air with one arm and started shaking it, as if she was calling upon all her Gods. When this didn’t help, she put the tablet close to her ear as if having a private conversation with it. Next she seemed ready to spit on it. But she didn’t. Thankfully. She took out the headphones that were plugged into it from her ears and kept the tablet on the ground like an angry elephant ready to stamp on it. But she didn’t. Thankfully. She kept it on side and looked around helplessly.

And then she saw us. She looked frustrated and angry, but only till she saw Ashton and started drooling.

“Hey…. Uh…”

“Hi, I’m Ashton Kutcher.”

“Of course I know who you are!” Then she looked and seemed to wonder if I was some kind of weird part-time Indian secretary of his. “I’m so happy to meet you, Ashton.” She decided to ignore me.

“Why do you look so upset?” Ashton got straight to the point.

“Do I? uh.. actually… actually, it is this tablet, I forgot to charge it last night and now there is absolutely no battery in it. I use it every morning in the gym to watch videos or movies or listen to music while I work out, but today it is just gone. Dead. And I didn’t even use it much yesterday so I assumed there will be some life in it!” She vented and seemed to feel relaxed.

Ashton smiled and then like a magician with a wand, he pulled out the sparkling new Lenovo Yoga Tablet from somewhere. I looked at it and again couldn’t help being impressed by how different it was from the sea of tablets available in the market. So I waited for Ashton to tell something more wonderful about it to the woman.

“Try the new Yoga Tablet, ma’am. This will offer you up to 18 hours of battery life for all day computing.”

“Really? This sleek looking sexy tab will give me 18 hours of battery life!” She could not believe herself.

“Yes, it will. It is always on when you’re on.”

“That’s so great, I don’t know what to say. I can’t really believe it.”

“You will believe when you start using it. In fact, you can even charge your smart phones and other devices.”

“What! That’s brilliant! How do I thank you?!”

“You don’t have to.” Ashton was his charming best!

He turned around and winked at me. I giggled and we both walked back to our car. But on the way he looked at me, “Don’t you want to have breakfast?”

“Of course I’m starving!”

Back in the plane, I continued to stare at him like a besotted fan but Ashton was beginning to warm up to me. “So, I was telling you about the Yoga Tablet 10 and Yoga Tablet 8.”

“Yes, yes, you were!”

“Well, I think you should watch this video because it says pretty much everything I have to say about it.” He handed me his Lenovo Yoga Tablet.

“Huh?”

“Rajiv Makhni is quite an authority on technology. It’s his video.” He pointed to the tablet so that I start watching it. I obliged.

Our nest destination was Delhi. We went to the campus of a large IT organization in Gurgaon straight away. Now I had understood the rhythm of our various trips and I was looking forward to the next drama.

In the cafeteria, we saw a couple of youngsters talking loudly.

“Hey, what are you talking about! The client expects us to finish the coding and deliver it within next week.” A boy said as we sat on a table slightly far away from them.

“But how are we supposed to do that with this deadlock. Nobody is able to debug this crazy thing!” A girl added.

“Just hang on. I am sure we will find the clue at this website. The project manager will be so happy, I’m telling you!” Another girl said who had a tablet in her hand.

“Which is that website? Show me?” Somebody said.

“I can’t. There is no way to keep it there so I need to hold it in my hand and surf. Oh gosh, my hand is hurting like crazy now.” She showed her wrist to her friends like a specimen on display and many people many sympathetic sounds. Another girl tried to massage her wrist but the shaking action distracted the first girl so she shooed off the helpful one. The helpful one was scared and she retreated to one corner like a 2-year old deer being chased by a 3-year old lion.

“At least try na, you maharani!” The first boy called out to the girl with the tab.

“Okay baba.”

So the lovely girl tried to make the tablet stand on the table with the help of her mobile phone. The tab slid down as if it were a shy bride. Then she aligned it against a glass. The glass turned over like a feather and took the tab along with it “Thud” on the table. Good that it didn’t fall on the floor.

“Okay, let me hold it for all of you to see.” The girl finally said.

She held it up in her hand and everybody started watching the tech video she had loaded about the particular bug. Not even 5 minutes had passed that people heard a whimpering sound coming from somewhere. They looked around and wondered what was happening.

“Oooo… aaaaa…. My hand. This way my wrist will bend like a balloon, guys!” it was the girl who was making the painful sounds. “I can’t hold it!” She said and slammed the tab on the table.

At this point, Ashton walked up and introduced himself to the group.

“Hey everyone!”

Wooooohoooooooooooooo! The noise was so loud that I’m surprised my ear drums didn’t burst. “Ashton Kutcher!!”

“Yeah that’s my name.” Ashton smiled in a shy way (wow, he could be shy too!)

“What are you doing here, Ashton!!!???” The lovely girl in pain was now looking smitten.

“I’m here to give you this, my love.” Ashton handed her the new Yoga Tablet.

Wooooohoooooooooooooo! There was a huge cheering from the group as the girl shyly accepted the gift from Ashton.

“But what is this and why are you giving it to me?” She asked.

“Okay, instead of telling you, let me show it to you.”

So everyone watched as Ashton sat down on a chair and started talking. “I’m giving it to you guys because I want to show you that there is a #BETTERWAY. No more paining and uncomfortable hands while holding a tablet and no more slipping and falling as you try to make it stand.” He held up the tablet for everyone to see. “This battery cylinder offers you the hold mode for comfortable movie viewing or social networking, stand mode for ease of typing or video chatting and tilt mode for browsing or typing.”

For some time everybody looked too impressed to talk. Then they gradually started trying it out. They admired the hinge design that made it so ingenious. Then one person said, “Look at this great side bar! It is helping the apps pop up.”

Some people nodded their heads. Then the first boy said, “We can browse and view so easily, I’m sure we will find the solution to this stupid bug on this tablet!”

All eyes turned to Ashton. He laughed and got up. “Well, that I’m not so sure of, my dear people. But my best wishes are with you.”

“Where are we going now?” I asked him in the plane.

“Back to Bengaluru! I think we have educated enough peple for today.”

“And been secret Santa to so many too!”

“Oh, well yeah.” Ashton laughed as he opened his own Yoga Tablet 10 and started answering fan e-mails.

I wondered if it will be a good idea to ask him for a good bye hug back in Bengaluru. I started rehearsing multiple lines and scenarios in my mind (all the while my husband’s face popping up in my head). I don’t know when we covered the entire distance from Delhi to Bengaluru. I was in a daze when food was served and when landing announcement was made.

And then I saw Ashton getting up from his seat and picking his baggage from the overhead bin. He looked at me and waited for me to stand. I didn’t. He politely smiled. I kept sitting like a statue. So he raised his eyebrows. No reaction from me. Finally he said, “Aren’t you getting up?”

I didn’t answer. In fact I closed me eyes so that time stands still and Ashton Kutcher never parts from me.

“Get up princess!” he almost screamed, but nicely.

No reaction from me.

“What is wrong with you? It is so late. Get up now, you silly dumbo!” He screamed right next to my ears and I felt the noise vibrating for a long time in my brain. “Get up!” He shouted one last time.

I opened my eyes ready to get angry with him for being mean, but then I froze. In place of Ashton Kutcher was my husband and in place of a fancy chartered plane it was my own bedroom.

“What’s wrong with you today! Sleeping in so late? No office or what?” The husband looked totally frazzled, confused and puzzled. He was dressed in his formals ready to head out to office himself.

I opened my mouth to explain something to him, realized the futility of it and closed it again. There was no way I could explain what his last night's video had done to me.

“Unwell, princess?” He tenderly touched my forehead.

“No, I’m fine. You get going to office, you’ll be late!”

“Okay, you take care and get some breakfast.” The husband headed off.

I got up from the bed and looked at myself in the mirror. Then I raised my hand in a namaskar mudra and winked at the yoga queen I saw in the mirror. While my yoga skills definitely need some improvement, the Yoga Tablet’s skills don’t. I had to get one. It is time to experience the Tablet 2.0 for myself. It is time to buy!

A #BETTERWAY is definitely here. To stay. 

Now, it is time for me to do it.

This is what prompted me to write this post! More Lenovo Yoga Tablet videos are here.