Giving more and expecting less

Office has been in a funk as usual (as can be guessed from my prolonged absences from my beloved blog). And as always I count on the magical presence of my bestie Riya to pull me out of the misery caused by a torturing boss, an unforgiving work schedule and unbelievably aggressive peers.

It’s difficult to be optimistic all day, each day of the year; and sometimes we need a little nudge to get back on track! This is the time we need to be with the ones we love the most. People who care about us, who love us and tolerate us despite all our eccentricities. People who look at us fall flat on our face and tell us we look cute like that. People who make us believe in the inherent goodness of all people and make everything look so rosy and fantastic.

Riya is my that kinda person.

So each time I’m having a bad time at office, she knows she needs to be at my beck and call. Sometimes with a hug, sometimes with a shared coffee, sometimes with a frozen yoghurt and sometimes with a sharp word at my call for constant attention, she brings me back to reality and how.

This time when I called her and complained about my boss giving me a tough time again, she asked me what exactly happened and I ranted about late-nighters (extending to midnight), working weekends and constant criticism. And you won’t believe what she advised. She said, “Why don’t you give it more than what you’re giving right now?”

I was aghast. I asked her if she didn’t hear me properly. I was dying with the work-load and the boss was still not satisfied. For every presentation, he wanted forty new versions. For every excel file, he wanted to see twenty new analysis sheets. He wanted me to mail him reports at midnight and then join early morning review calls after that. When I told him I was over-worked (ever so indirectly), he advised I finish the work over the weekend.

She said she had heard me. But she could also hear the fact that I was doing everything completely half-heartedly. After every late shift spent burning the midnight oil, I wanted to wake up grudgingly at nine. After every next iteration of the unsavory presentation, wanted a personal bouquet with lots of appreciation. So she asked me, “Why don’t you give without expecting anything back for a change? Why don’t you just savor the joy in what you’re doing at that moment for a change?”

That just left me thinking. Her advice was impeccable and correct. I definitely needed a change in perspective, I needed to stop complaining about everything, I needed to stop being a spoilt brat. But more than the advice, it was her positive and strong company that jolted me. Here was a smart, sassy and positive young girls – my best friend, and she cared about me enough to say it straight without mincing words. I knew she was right. Just by being #together with her for those few hours caused a subtle shift in me, brought out a positive fighter side to me that only somebody as optimistic as Riya could have! Like Housing.com says, it’s about being together in this journey…