Gizmo Gorilla helps find love

Dear Gizmo Gorilla,

My laptop—my beloved partner and loyal friend—has finally succumbed to the ephemeral nature of its existence. It has started the journey toward its heavenly abode, riding the chariot heralded by many champion race-horses. It is old, and slow, and squeaky.

After this heartbreaking and tragic loss, I've spent many a week crying tears of lost love and poignant nostalgia, ultimately reaching the conclusion this was a brave heroic laptop whose lifeline has run short, and I need to accept the law of nature. It was my trusted companion till our relationship lasted, and now, alas, it was time for it to make a heavenward (dustbin-ward?) journey joyously. And for me, to find a new (and exciting?) partner. You cannot blame a girl for wanting some newness in her life every once in a while, now can you?

Please join me in celebrating the last few months of my memorable techno-savvy soldier made of metal and plastic, peppered with emojis and benevolent with funny videos. 

Sincerely,

Loved and lost

Dear Loved and Lost,

Ah! How sorry I am to hear about your laptop. Clearly you both were, ahem, too close. 

I salute this soldier that was showering you with emojis and funny videos, although I do hope that you found other more, eh, pertinent uses for it as well. Heard of software and operating systems, perhaps? Of course it is none of my business and I am glad about whatever uses you found of your much missed machine.

I do poignantly join you in your hall of sham-.. I mean hall of tragedy. I can understand that this is an emotional time and infinitely hard to bear. May I venture to ask you what life looks like without your lifelong companion and what you intend to do with now that you have no use for it?

Heartwarmingly,

Gizmo Gorilla

Dear Gizmo Gorilla,

Life is nothing but a bed of thorns without it, needless to say. Let me express my pain through this poem:

O laptop! You took the keyboard, 

and you also took the screen, 

I am a mess in my pajamas here,

You should take a look at my scene!  

I can't make sound effects,

Or visuals that are fantastic,

because I am just a mortal human,

Because I'm not made of plastic. 

I miss your giggly-beep-beep sounds,

I miss your monotone processor,

and your camera for video chatting

was like my forever heroic savior! 

Now I do not know what to do,

I look at your dying metallic body in pain,

It breaks my heart to think of the next steps,

but I will love you, moon, sun or rain!

I hope that scintillatingly heartfelt poem told you about my state of ruin, GG. That is what my life looks like at the moment. But if you are more keen to know, what I plan to do as a next step, then well, I have found a way to immortalize my brave companion. 

Yes, GG! I have decided that my laptop would be forever know as an organ donor—by opening it up and removing the still-functioning hardware inside of its casing—I will help others, which is to say that my long-lost laptop will help others. Each time its part will make a new laptop sing with joy, my heart will beat with passion. Aren’t you so proud of me?

Sincerely,

Loved and lost

Dear Loved and Lost,

Oh! Please just hang on, right there! Yes, I am proud of you, but more than that I am in a state of shock! Please allow me to recuperate for just a fleeting moment! Yes, oh, I feel better! 

I do heartily appreciate the philanthropic thoughts behind turning your laptop into an organ donor, I do. But, did you know that you, and it, can do better than that? Yes, I left everything I was doing right where it was, the moment I received your email, and am typing furiously to reach you before you do something rash (of course by rash I mean well intentioned and kind in an organ donor way).

Why don't you call the God of old gadgets?

Heartwarmingly,

Gizmo Gorilla

Dear Gizmo Gorilla,

You had me at Zeus, how handsome he is, I must say. I did see 300 almost 300 times, though later I was told that those killer abs of Gerard Butler were not quite made of washboard but of other artificial boards, but oh well, what can you do. 

So what is this God of old gadgets? Is he or is he not supportive of my noble aims of organ donation? How proud are you of me?

p.s. there is a small surprise enclosed in this litter just for you!

Sincerely,

Loved and lost

Dear Loved and Lost,

What good fortune to receive your prompt email. I may have bitten my fingers entirely in anxiety had you not written back. How terribly thoughtful of you to have included a metallic part of your beloved laptop as a souvenir for me in spirit of its organ donor ambitions. I was entirely misled by the word ‘small’ in your attached note and did not expect that dinosaur popping out of the carton. Needless to say, I got knocked out by it quite instantly. The resulting concession did a fantastic job in allowing a long night’s sleep that I had been dearly missing for the last few days in wait for your letter.

So now that the bulbous blob on my head has abated a little and people are not asking anymore if I have been beaten up in a bar fight, I can tell you that yes Zeus and I are both proud of you.

Lovingly,

Gizmo Gorilla

Dear Gizmo Gorilla,

I am going to meet Zeus today. Wish me luck!

In love forever,

Love found again