HAPPINESS (cut short)


How many times have you asked somebody “what do you want in life?” and the answer has been “happiness”? If you have not, then do go around doing a quick dip-stick and you will realize that alas, this is the standard answer that perhaps was printed on our brain when we were all manufactured in that unique super-efficient creature factory, hidden behind inaccessible cloudy barricades.

But if you ask these same people what is happiness, you would encounter a strange lull. They either do not know the answer, or are confused, or volunteer with something that they think is right, only to realize a little later, and on several occasions at that, that something else normally turns out to make them ‘happy’. Or does it?

I read somewhere that there are only two approaches to life – the victim approach and the victimizer approach. Gory as it sounds, it is really simple and sweet. It means that either we accept that it is we who create and influence everything that happens in our life, which means we are the victimizer, OR we deem that we are the victim and things ‘happen’ to us, situations and experiences occur without our own control. The choice is totally ours. Basically, when you take responsibility for all of reality, then you give yourself the power to change anything within reality; having a handle on your own life – governing what occurs and influences you – or rather making sure it is you, and only you that influences you.

So many times if we dissect any ‘difficult’ situation we are in, we end up realizing that it is the conditions we have created in our mind that are making the situation difficult! You know, conditions about how we should be behaving, what we should be getting out of it, expectations of others from us, expectations of ourselves from us, expectations of ourselves from others; and the list is endless.

So what is my take on happiness? Well I feel we can start by doing everything we love and that makes us happy. But first, find out what makes you happy. Ask yourself this question even when it seems like the most the most tedious questions to answer. Ask yourself over and over again, in times disconnected to each other and see if the answer is consistent. Now break this answer down to the minutest of the detail – in a moment to moment manner. What about this happiness can you do on a moment to moment manner that makes you happy?

But do not mistake solutions to momentary anxieties and fears as true sources of happiness. And do not harm anybody – what goes around, truly comes around and this world works on the system of harmony – taking away somebody else’s happiness to make your own will yield, at best, temporary results. Similarly looking at somebody else’s happiness and hoping to steal it / replicate it because you have not looked inside yourself may, at best, yield superficial results because you are, of course, unique.

Comments

Petty Witter said…
Health, wealth and happiness - the top 3 in most people's list I would have guessed. Thanks for that post, it was certainly food for thought.
Voice said…
we want acceptance...

my two pence on this topic
http://tanabana.blogspot.com/2006/01/race.html
Mirage said…
Happiness is the most overrated emotion, in my opinion. I wonder why people 'search for happiness'? Happiness is created. And like you said, its created by doing the things that make us happy. It's the simplest thing, and yet we make it sound like a far-fetched dream.
Siddharth said…
happiness is dopamine...
Canary said…
@Petty
Aren't health and wealth routes to happiness?

@Voice
Not everybody wants acceptance?

@Mirage
True :)

@Siddarth
Or the other way around? :D
Voice said…
i think everyone want acceptance. well it is my thought
Junius said…
interesting post.
i believe life doesnt have any aim in itself, we are not 'made' for something specific, like say happiness

the only valid aim in life is to find an aim and work on it, this aim can be different for different people
Canary said…
@voice
hmmm...

@Junius
Well-said! It's good to anyway find something that keeps your mind occupied, as they say 'an empty mind is devil's stay'..
karim said…
Good one on happiness and it helps a lot.

Thanks,
Karim - Mind Power
Arunima said…
ok, got the point. :-) I will look for harmony with my surroundings so that i get happiness.
Datsme said…
I read something interesting regarding happiness in some book. It said dat asking yourself "are you happy" is very dangerous. Coz if you realize dat u are not happy, den you need to alter the situation you are in. And if you cant change it den you'll end up being all the more unhappy den you were before.
austere said…
pertinent. piercing.
my happiness can be different than yours. and so it is.


would "contentment" be a better answer?
~PakKaramu~ said…
Visiting your blog
Ashish Gupta said…
read somewhere recently, "It is so simple to be Happy, but so difficult to be simple"
Standbymind said…
Victimezer & Victim - I never knew that!

Nice post!
Trauma Queen said…
@mirage: which emotion is not overrated? if happiness is overrated i don't know what word you'd use for 'love' :P

Spongebob and Justin Timberlake make me happy...and I;m quite sure that is unique to me and 5 million others...we share this happiness and don't steal it from one another

:)))

how be you? i am so addicted to facebook i do not find the time or interest to blog....
Trauma Queen said…
I need to catch up on your older posts...I have been away on a long blogger’s hiatus – fighting evil hitmen who kept pillaging my farm. Some people call it a popular networking site addiction but I disagree….

I was pressed for words and thus decided to switch loyalties to WordPress. Do update your blogroll link (assuming of course, I was already there) to this URL:

http://totaltrauma.wordpress.com/

See you there!
Ganja Turtle said…
You should try: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle
Epiphany said…
Happiness is just the politically correct answer we are supposed to give...whatever we actually want can fit into this bucket so we can dodge the question by aspiring to be happy...

BTW got here from Trauma queen's blog.... will be back :)
satishds said…
Cool take on happiness :).
so,Happiness(cut very short)
"happiness is just a state of mind" !!.
Phoenix said…
Happiness is only a by-product. :) thats all we care for too
Canary said…
@Karim
:)

@Arunima
Okay, tell me what's happens after you do that.

@Dats
Quite dangerous!

@austere
It could be... Am thinking about this...
Canary said…
@Karamu
Welcome...

@Aashish
Sounds like something you read at the back of Auto rickshaws

@Standby
Now, you do :)

@Trauma
:) :)

@Ganja
More home-work :((

@Epiphany
Look forward :)

@Satish
Thanks!

@Phoenix
The more things we care for, the more complicated our life turns out to be?
anne said…
I really think you have the power to make your own happiness .It takes practice but it can be done.sometimes we live a life of unhappiness because we don't want to disturb another person's view of themselves or we cater to the imagined feelings of other people and women are really guilty of thinking they can make other people happy when of course they can't .everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

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